should shame me posting this ... xDU my spelling is like a thousand times worse than now.
N
or I have very clear what I'm doing here. I thought for a moment and when I realized, was already here. Before me, the center of the room is the piano from my grandfather. I came to the house to feed the wolves belonging my grandparents, who still live in the abandoned mansion.
And somehow, even now I'm here. Decide
prepare for the presentation.
I feel.
close my eyes. The silence is amazing and annoying. At my feet under the piano is
Yena, the wolf that always made my babysitter when I was little. Jinsei grandfather was the one who taught it.Sigh.
- Why I do this? - I wonder.
really hate to play. And I agree to show up at an event. I'm twisted.
probably no one in the world weighed more than me.
Mi.
Because the acoustics of the room, note that lasted several seconds.
The piano is tuned.
I look at the window. Remembering.
The . The. Do.
remember my melody.
Sib. Fa.
'Grey Flash'
That song he composed to Lonekke. Expressing all my feelings for her.
A romantic melody. Slow. Sad. Nostalgic. Painful.
As my love for her.
- I must be masochistic. - I say no smile, no joke.
My fingers recognize the location of the keys. Beginning at a slow rate, which increases gradually as the song progresses.
Each key you play, brings a new memory in my mind. A reminder of those days when she saw me as a hero. Where the days and weeks we shared together. When I was doing their smiles full of affection and corríaa my arms saying 'primin missed you. "
in which I included in their weekend plans.
Anyway.
All those memories I built my feelings for her.
feel a lump in my throat.
Respiro.
The only sound in the house is to the keys. The melody fills every corner. My hands are trembling slightly.
two years.
Two years since I played this.
Respiro. My dismay grew.
- I hate playing. - Sentenced holding my hands. - I really hate it.
dirty caress the back of Yena, who rubs his wet nose against my arm. Steel, Umi, Dark keeping their distance. Grandfather
had a strange habit of always a wolf behind him. We had an incredible love, I think that played a special role in his childhood. Uncle Matthew told me that when he was young his father had another wolf, Kiba, and when he died was bought from four to 'not feel so alone now their four children left. " Something like replacing.
two weeks ago that's Mansion veníaa grandfather since I was a trip to the beach, the wolves could not go by that Uncle Matthew is allergic to them. And today I came to practice the piano on the second floor and play with them awhile.
grandfather's Mansion is immense, I know the exact measurements, but the 'home' has more than fifty rooms, different rooms, and all very spacious. It has an impressive library. On the other hand the 'patio' is even more incredible. Heated pool, outdoor pool, tennis court, gardens with a fountain, decorative only, the personal amusement park with Bungee included, stables with horses, a place to go horse riding, among other things. Paradise. My uncle and mother had to have a great time in your childhood.
While my grandparents were alive, I lived here. I remember always swam in the pool, or played in the secret room in the library. I lay on the grass with Yena, watching.
I miss my grandparents. I would back the years. I wish they had never met thirteen. Those fateful years. I lived without my grandparents, without Lonekke.
only thing salvageable from this year, is the comforting company of Benji.
I turn the key. 'Click'. The door opened. He entered quietly, closing it behind me.
is late, probably are all eating. I pause to see if I hear the voices of my brothers.
- - Then Sycke won first place, I hear Dad say
-Shaylee.smiled subtly. And my steps trying to not sound, I turn to the scale. He was in the middle of this when I stop.
- until it arrives. - Azael said.
I let go of his grip, making the gesture in which I take clean. He frowned.
- Where were you? - where my grandparents.
said nothing.
- Today I came across your music teacher. - Then let go. I shook hands with something similar to the fear and shame. I wish the teacher was not so "long tongue." Insurance and he told Azael, and east to Sakuya, and both my brothers.
I started up the stairs.
did not want to hear what I was going to say.
- I thought you were done with that.
- not your issue.
- said he agreed to play in a presentation, congratulations.
I stopped at that.
Turn to him with anger.
- Congratulations
? Since when do you care? You hate me to play! I hate it, do you remember? I punished this time, humbled me. What felicitas me now?
- Things change, Hector. - He answered impassively.
really is a type detestable.
- I do not see that they do so.
- Reflect, really seem to enjoy it.
- Things change. I hate playing. - Was my answer.
- do not believe you. - Said, approaching me with a smile. - Otherwise you would not have accepted. I felt a knot in my throat. In disgust, revulsion. Now is the father gives the understanding?
- I did that, and you do not have to waste your time on me. There are more important things. Do not try to understand me when I do not know, Azael.
- I do not talk like that, Hector. And I am your father. So call me 'Dad'.
- A father is not only the giver of life, is the breeding. I can not even treat you as a father, these securities will come better to my grandfather and my uncle Matthew. felt the slap he gave me.
I said nothing.
- We were talking in peace, remember?
- Can you speak civilly? Who knew!
- Hector
I street. I do not like shocks.
- Listen. You live in my home with my orders, eating what I give you, in a room that I gave, I give you allowance. You can not say no I am responsible for you.
I said nothing. I knew it. It's humiliating. That is the reason for my tears. The fact that I know that I am parasite in that house. That if I give money, food would be dead. Which I have to live here if I want to live.
But I want to live?
not
So why do I still here?
- I just wanted to congratulate you.
- Rare in you.
- Hector .-- I said. I said nothing. Not well thought answer.
- I called the director, I have to go talk to her. Do you think I have all the time for you? It is the third time I am in the week.
- think otherwise. Nobody tells you to go. If you do not want the damn show you how you are to the world, is your problem. -
- Hector
This time I said nothing, I turned around and went home.
I was alone.
first thing I did when arriving at the station, was entering a phone booth and dial.
Wait several minutes to reply.
Nothing ...
Busy.
thing I like about these Charlita Lonekke Joel and held in the evenings, it is. Joel is never available when I need ...
why would not be available around the clock to me, obviously ... I mean how my blond friend know that to me would be tempted to throw me off a building at twelve o'clock? Or do I fight with my father to the point of leaving my home ...? Or that some guys attacked me? and all these things ...
addition, any time you have to flirt with Lonekke ... although I continue to deny that you like. I think I'm afraid that I learned that in love with the same girl who kicked me two years ago and which fell into a depression ... and that still has not entirely forgotten.
But you know ...? Seriously ...
I do not care.
I feel I am as obsolete for the world, that if my mother told me that I change for a candy, you end up accepting as normal ...
not think that Joel is bad or anything style, but the heart was not in charge, and say what Joel blame has fallen in love with her? That is, if I myself fall in love without even knowing Lon well I saw him ...
Although perfect.
I move my fingers nervously watching the phone again, and the numbers ...
Joel Just hope I have better luck. Although I think so.
Lon If you do suffer, I really think that the hate ... I
well. I'm crap, and it makes no difference in the end what happens to me or do, but people who are my treasures, do not let anyone insult, even with his mind ...
is someone very valuable Lonekke for me, yes. I doubt that even this love, although still captivated by it. But if Joel were to feel hurt because of him ... it would become a daemon immediately.
twelve o'clock at night, is a Tuesday, which rules out everyone responsible and sane, which is now beginning to be sleeping for a few hours busy day Wednesday. (Which leaves me with no options)
Perfect, just perfect.
... use whatever I have no one turn.
I must have been and fifteen minutes wandering in the cab, without marking any other number ...
Joel is busy ...
Lonekke usually speaks to one and a half and two in the morning ... (What I still leaves two hours off.)
That is called having dogfish. I could never hold a conversation for so long, well, actually it is difficult to drop me a sentence long.
A person begins to claim that he needed the phone and stop making the stupid there, so finally I could not communicate with Benji and I ended up at the station alone again. Look
railroad tracks, and the number of people around me waiting for the next train, my creative mind I immediately began to suggest something attractive that would throw me to the train tracks and end and with my pathetic existence.
And I would have really, if not because they had small children and I found it very nice trauma for life ... I still find interesting the possibility of the pills.
I think there is a pharmacy nearby, remember.
start walking toward her. I am often quite hypocritical, that is, I'm crap, my life is worth nothing, I always think in different ways on how to commit suicide, and it never took place. I think that might be because I know that nothing can be so gray. Also, because I cling to the presence of Joel in my life, and I know that if something were to happen it would be sad. Never forgive me sad to put it.
I do not know how to hold me. But it does. I'm pretty dependent on it, really. It is the only good thing from all the bad that happened to me.
I collapse on some benches that were outside a restaurant, giving up the idea of shopping for pills to kill me. Not because they want to, but it gave me a can. It's pretty depressing.
How many hours I'm supposed to? As four. And the world remains the same, and nobody seems concerned, nobody has called me ... Well ... I doubt anyone even knows that I left home. Azael insurance not take it seriously, nor want to tell anyone. Shaylee maybe if this will be quite scared and Sycke phoned to tell ... if you're not sleeping now. Jared tries to calm insurance, but says nothing. Never go against an order of Azael. I admire a lot.
... Or maybe even do not learn, and they both slept.
I feel like my tears begin to fall from my eyes, while about my legs to my chest and hug, staying well, sobbing for several minutes. I really hate this ...
try to calm, but as always, to no avail. So I give up, and let my body is relieved. Never understand the reasons for my tears ... or maybe they do not know ... I think more than anything, that I never wanted to know why I cry. Must be my boredom, my little love for life, the feeling of loneliness that experiment.
Always, when I'm alone too long, I end up crying. And more stupid is that for no reason.
- Hector? -
felt like my heart would stop, or started to beat faster. I do not know really, but I know I feel the earth swallow me alive right now. Notice how he shivered, and I shrank more in myself to hear that voice. Go
someone to understand me, five minutes ago I complained that no one noticed my condition, and now that he would prefer to note ... pulled me to the train tracks, a minute ago.
- Hector? -
I felt his hand on my hair, stroking. He had taken a seat beside me and repeated the question to my attention, perceiving that he had ignored.
really did not want to answer, I really wanted to leave ... Well, no, not wanted, I wanted to stay ...
But ...
- What happened?
- ... - I moved my arm to remove his hand from my hair, but he caught her, staying in touch. My eyes strayed to him and saw his green eyes, I noticed the concern in them, and I could.
I throw your neck, moving my arms around Ely buried my face in his black shirt, crying harder, while around my shoulders with one arm, and let me mourn. I do not know how long I stayed like that. But I know that was enough. After free me and my uncle lit a cigarette and followed me, still waiting to answer the question that had been in the wind.
But he said nothing, only watched him smoke. I was amused to see how his fingers took the cigarette to her lips, then exhaled smoke.
I like the smell of smoke. I think because the smell always reminds me of my Uncle Matthew. smiled shyly when I look, with soil still moral, but not wanting more worried. He returned to stroke my hair and saw the time.
- you know what time is it, boy?
- ... I'm sorry. - Muttering for your comment. Aunt Mariella insurance should be very worried about him now. I could feel breath on my response, but said nothing.
- will cost you a world waking up tomorrow to go to school, you know? You are exactly three hours of sleep.
I did not say anything about it. Sincerely was not going to classes.
- Or did not you going?
Again I remained silent, looking away into the sky. When I enter a question to mind, and look at it.
- ... What were on the street at this time, Uncle Matt?
- I was with a customer in a cafe, I saw you go and it made me wonder about this time I walked alone around here.
I looked down, embarrassed by his response. Had stopped work ...
- And you? Should not you be sleeping? -
- ... - I shook my head - I never sleep anyway. - Whispered to downplay it.
- How is that? -
- ... I suffer from insomnia. I sleep at lunchtime and in the first recess.
this time I felt like the way you breathe cigarette smoke was more abrupt, and stood in front of the bank being me. I turned my red orbs on his face and I noticed how I analyzed from head to toe.
- Have you lost weight
.- Blink. Well, it is true that I have about a week without eating something decent. A glass of milk for breakfast, lunch an occasional treat, which never end because they make me sick, and energy drinks ... or any fruit that Joel gives me, and stuff.
- ... Nah ... - answered, without looking into his eyes.
- Did you eat? -
- Yeah ... -
- What? -
- fries ... a while ago
.- I saw how I raise an eyebrow, looking clearly a desperate gesture. I smiled innocently.
- Do not tell me that's your diet? -
- I do not say ... -
- Come on, come on. I'm going to leave your home. - I ordered, offering his hand to lift me. Gesture to accept.
- ... It is not necessary - answer, for offering to take my home. I knew that this suggestion was largely a ploy to confirm his suspicion that something had happened there.
- we will fight with your father? -
I said nothing, take it as making a statement. Now my Uncle Matt made a total exasperation. That I like my uncle, not a hypocrite. And never hidden his lack of sympathy for my father. I invited her home.
Accept . Already
was not alone.
As always, Uncle Matthew to the rescue.
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