Meeting. Que. This. Writing. Very. Shear. xD
D eben be like half past four. Another day for my pathetic existence. I know: the holiday had to end and you should return to your home .
not fair. And I keep thinking I'm alone. Nothing changes. I want to go. Since my grandparents died as usual, no one cares. And they force me to stay here. With my parents. Damn
laws.
This week at the beach was wonderful. Matthew lived with my uncle, with Lonekke with Benji and the rest. I was not alone. I have a cup of coffee with my Uncle Matthew. I went to a Disco. Like I needed. But it hurts to remember all that.
know that all ended.
'm in the dark. It's five now. I look at the window with dark red curtains. I think opening. But the thought of getting up, depresses me greatly. I settle in bed, and took a gray stuffed dog on my nightstand. Hug him to my breast. My grandfather gave it to me. I long to mourn, I can not help it, not for me. I close my eyes and the tears just leave me, and that feeling of loss comes over me again. It hurts.
I'm alone, really.
And it hurts. I
. Return. Five days. Classes begin again. Everything continues. Nothing changes.
hurts. Embrace
harder to bear. Hoping to comfort me. But I know that is impossible. This is repeated forever. Day after day. Nothing changes.
I'm the same idiot forever. The same whom no one note. I do not understand why I'm here. Why not just yet. It hurts.
'Well, let's have a drink,' Dear ET '
deep breath.
I clean the face with my right hand. My face burns red and co-managed. I keep breathing. Trying to control.
The five-forty. I get up and go to the bathroom. Shall begin to get ready for school. I know I can not sleep. I can never.
I go into the shower, while I watch the water and lathered as falls to my feet and go away, I returned the attack of crying that the sound of water drowned. Water trickles down furious precise and sharp on my skin, which already gives the same, I feel cold anyway. The tears and howls jerky stop once I lock the keys.
deep breath again.
Clean with a hand mirror condensation. I see weak and defeated. I open the faucet and clean my face.The past is behind.
I'm alone.
Nothing changes.
No one sees me. Do not greet any of this but I'm here, leaning against a wall watching Lonekke conversation with a fellow sitting on a bench.
I think of my crying in the morning. Remember me depressed. I'm so useless for everything that I can not hold back my tears. I have even the throat, so you better think of something else before I get to mourn in public. That would be pathetic.
I see Benji go to school, comes with something wet hair and blue eyes are half closed. Sleepy. I approached him and cover my eyes with my hands.
- Who is it? - Asks a sleepy voice. No answer. I do not want to give clues. - ... ET!
I laughed and I find the eyes, removing his backpack and shoulder poniéndomela. Guess. I like this. Having a friend. Someone who loves and supports. - Same. Good morning, Benji.
- Good morning, ET
- Why ask if you slept little - add a bit of irony. Joel laughs.
- Thanks for saving me the words. And you?
- I could not sleep.
- Why?
I do not know that answer. I have never managed to sleep at my parents. I think it is an unconscious psychological effect.
I'm not sure or something. But I do not know. I felt too unwell to sleep. I do not know. And it's strange, because I have no dream.
Habit, I guess.
- I do not know.
- Is something, ET? - No. You know the drill. I guess.
Lack of communication. I am not good at these things, and he knows it. As he also knows that never lies, so do not ask anything more. He put an arm around my shoulders and began to tell me it's gross and bestial Resale.
Lonekke is precious. She dismisses life from every pore of his being. It is a beauty no matter where you see it, but it has character. Kaijuu daughter of Hikari in the end. And as my aunt Krono uncle, Lon walks always arguing with Joel.
seems they wanted to kill himself.
Although they talk a lot, always discussed. At first, Benji did not like very much my cousin. I think it was because I reject and look bad. Or because they do not take it well.
The day after my return I avoid, and I her. It was hard to confront, but I decided to do at the end of class. I made a fool of myself by asking to speak, he stutters a lot, Joel laughed behind my back.
- Is it really important? - She answered uncomfortable.
- Yes
accept and we went to a secluded place to talk, where they found us and interrupt anyone. And the opposite. I was so nervous I did not know what to say. And she broke the silence.
- Er ... That new guy, Joel. It looks like a hunk of melting rap ... I you would get your phone?
That's what he said. I remember it well. It hurt a lot. I declare myself, and I say that. I felt ridiculous. But I said yes it would get. He thanked me and asked me to continue. But I had not noticed. All was useless. Absurd. Did not even care.
- just wanted to clarify what happened yesterday. Do not get me avoid it.
- Do not avoid, your avoiding me me!
- In the morning I wanted to say hello. I watched as you walked away - we reproach.
- did not go to lunch with us! - Counterattacked.
I made it easy.
- was talking to Joel. Also ... As you leave Shaylee just mentioned my name. And your brother telling me that I face anything that I said was that now you are behaving strangely.
- How the hell wanted to react, Hector! With a demon, we are cousins!
Not at all easy.
- I know ... - I closed my eyes to give me more strength, I could not face his eyes. - So nothing happened?
That would be a solution.
- Nothing does that?
- Pretend you never said anything.
- I can not.
Damn.
- Okay ... Then Friends? - I was clearly desperate. Was losing. - I do not know! I do not know how to act, Lonnie!
And then I felt worse.
- Hector. - Began.
The look.
I kiss the cheek, and answered the look.
- Cousins. Nothing more. Only cousins.
My world collapsed.
- Cousins, friends. How soon?
At that moment his father the call.
- I'm leaving. Do not forget the phone. Yes ... Best friends. - That's what I said.
But it was a lie.
He was never the same with me.
Ni I with her.
- What about? - Benji questioned me a few minutes later.
- Friends - clear. - I asked for your phone. Joel When I said that I look. He put on his coat and cap turned around.
- I have. - He replied, instantly adding a more serious tone, "At least, not for her.
But that was then. Now is a kind of 'friends' who want to kill each other but they die for each other. Personal opinion, of course. None accepted. In fact, both threaten to beat me everytime I mention it.
is funny.
'm at the end of class. Sitting next to the window. Observed. We are in literature class. The teacher explains something about the drama, its origins, which I celebrate a God or something, do not pay much attention.
- Pullman, could look at the board, please.teacher I see the sideways. He looks uncomfortable and show the board completely written. I have nothing written down, so start typing. Should not be here, but I am. It is only the first hour of six.
I'm sitting at the end of class, next to the window to my left is Joel. From here domino everything he does the rest. Benji writes something in his notebook, which obviously has little to do with what it says Professor of Literature, which no one will sympathize much indeed.
Just ahead of me, sitting, apparently attentive, is Reiver. In the previous review was apparently not very well, so it intends to take the next best score. Not that it is applied or a brainiac. But it is still a good student.
Lonekke
And keep writing.Further, in the second row, this Grettel. She is a girl something unpleasant. Liked or loved. Two years ago acompañoa me a party. At the same in which I refused, although she does not know.
raise my eyes.
- Pullman, could you repeat what I said? - The teacher asks me upset.
- No, I can not.
- Please pay attention.
But I can not pay attention.
Our big event occurred because the school did the dance every year, shortly after returning from school. He intended to go with Lonekke, but she had partner. Who? Kyle. I have never understood as understood so quickly.
With Gretchen stayed to get together at the entrance of the establishment. I was formal dress with a black suit, and arrive early. She still did not come when my cousins came.
- Still alone,
primin ? - I wonder Kyle Lonekke arm. And I nodded quietly, admiring the beauty of it.
She wore a long, dark blue marking very well contained. I was a little cleavage and showed his arms. Her hair unlike other days, had bun in half. He had a little makeup on her face, in a subtle, imperceptible. It looked beautiful.
- You look beautiful.
She looked at herself and then I answered the look with a wide smile.
- Thank you, cousin, You look great!
- Thank God - I replied laughing. - Have fun. I still hope to Gretchen.
They smiled and entered me. A few minutes later I get my partner playing with me. I cover eyes. It looked good. It had a cream colored dress that showed her back.
- You look good.
- You look better than in my dreams! - She replied, laughing.
- Do you dream of me?
- Twenty-four hours the day I deal in: nine hours and fifteen dreaming with you in mind.
These words stunned me. He offered his arm and entered. The gym was beautifully decorated, and had around long tables at the edges, filled with snacks, dance floor and special lighting. The vast majority danced.
- What do you do? - Ask.
- Whatever you want.
- No offense, but not used to these places ... Dancing, talking, anything?
- Dance?
sounding music was romantic, we went to the dance floor, to take her by the waist and arm, beginning to move around the track. He was being polite but really did not want to be with her. Unconsciously, my cousins looking at her. Or rather Lonekke. And I found in one of the tables.
- in that they are there.
- Who? - I asked Gretchen.
- My cousins.
- Kyle and ...
Katsuragi- Yes They came together.
- No wonder that half of the girls hate Katsuragi.
- Does the hate? Why?
- Why have the two cutest guys?
- Kyle and who else?
- You.
That answer came to me. Lonekke teníaa me me and Kyle. It made me feel very good that someone external to us noticing it.
- is our cousin, we grew up together. - I said, watching as they both laughed. "Although she has always gotten along better with Kyle.
- It seems that ...
- But that's the truth. They had planned to be a couple even before they are communicated to the party. - I shrugged my shoulders to try to minimize the importance of this fact gave. - But do not talk about it. Dance well.
A gratuitous flattery to try to change the subject.
- Does that hurt?
But not noticed.
- thing.
- - But you can have more.
- What do you mean? - Your comment made my face red with embarrassment put.
- You know.
- Know what? - Would rather make me crazy. If you knew exactly who she meant, but did not have to talk about it. Could invent something to leave the matter. Hit me on the forehead. No lie. - I curse the day you vowed never to lie. Change the subject.
- Do you like Katsuragi?
- Change the subject.
- Answer!
- What do you think?
- No ...
I smiled in response. To stay with that assessment if I wanted.
- Hector
- What?
- Yes or no? ...
startled jumped.
- Pullman!
- What?
- could repeat what I said.
- I said no.
- Outside the hall! If you are not paying attention there is no point to stay here.
raised an eyebrow. I see my notebook almost white. The professor is right. I knew I should not be here. I can not concentrate.
- Agreed.
I get up and leave the room, but not before a smile to Benji guide, which follows me with his eyes until they disappear.
- Hector - Lonekke seeing exclaimed as a greeting to his side.
- And how are you going? - Asked smiling Grettel releasing arm, and approaching to Lonekke, feeling my heart pounding away.
- Great! - Answer Kyle laughed We have criticized at least eight style of dancing and ...
- Seven dresses, "he Lonekke ends.
funny I laughed for the reply.
- You?
- Good. Dancing with Gretchen.
- Can you dance? - Ask me Reiver gray eyes looking at me curiously. A triumphant smile formed on my lips immediately. My chance.
- Remember when you asked me two years ago and could not dance, why not know? - Both nod "Since that day I strive to learn and if the opportunity was repeated.
Lonekke lets out a soft laugh that made me expand my smile further.
- How did you learn, that I never noticed?
I have blood raised its head in shame.
- is counted but not the holy miracle.
- Do not trust me ...
- ... Of course I do, you know you're the reason I exist. I asked some people I teach in my spare time ... Domino various styles.
- What I would teach? - I wonder Reiver with a beautiful smile on his face, watching me. I felt that my heart would burst with excitement.
- If you give me that pleasure. - Answer all excited. Kyle had no problem with letting us dance, something I am very glad, and Gretchen did not oppose, though his face showed the opposite, I preferred to ignore: it was something that had been looking forward to a long, dance with My Goddess. So feeling like the luckiest person on earth, takes one of her soft hands in mine and take it to the dance floor.
Controlling my nerves as much as possible, take it around the waist and come to me, she closed her eyes and leaned against my chest. Making my heart race even more, forming a lump in my throat nervously product of that closeness of it caused me.
- Do not do anything wrong - I comment, lifting his face towards me with a playful smile on his face, making me just a little.
- That means it was worth my effort. - I replied, laughing and hugging her again, sighing to feel closer to even smell her hair loose.
- glad I almost entirely on ...
The look worried.
- Why almost?
- Things mine.
It hurt that her response. It was as if I had just saw that a big wall between us. He did not trust me. 'Things mine' was as if she believed that I did not mind it, I just wanted to know about nosy. It hurt.
- ... Do not you trust me ?.... Reasons have. - Answer off. Feeling as she saw me again.
- are things of Owen, that's all.
With that era. I did not want to tell me that it was not her problem. I was worried about his brother. Kiss her forehead.
- Do not be so ... - pat your face gently, giving him a sweet smile is a smile
better your beautiful face.
She answered the smile. 'Thank you' I whispered, hugging me again.
- ... You know for me is always a pleasure.
Lonekke more sweetly back at me and his smile wide, making me blush completely. It was a lot of work dealing with my heart now to be like a tomato. But still, I felt fine. Happy. She leaned over in my chest, sigh, causing a slight tremor to spread across my body, hugging mass Mi.
He would tell now. Apparently it was not indifferent. It might take a chance. Should. Had a lot to win ... and lose. But it was the right environment. I had to ...
- Lon ...
- Yes ...?
My mouth dry, my hands started to sweat, my stomach lurched. Many emotions are crowded me in the chest by step I was going to give. What if I get rejected? If I do not say anything? What would happen? What would be your reaction?
- I ... You know I love you, right?
- Yes
I looked at askance by putting your answer even if that was possible, more nervous
- Some time ago ... that ... I ...
She looked at me carefully, her eyes Gray were fixed on mine rubies. His arms still in my chest, very close to our bodies.
- I realized ... that ... I ... uh ...
raised an eyebrow as I saw surprised. It is certainly not normal for me to be so nervous. So I sighed, closed my eyes for a moment and look.
- I fell in love with you.
He stopped. We stopped dancing. Not react. Slowly I looked back and was separated a bit to look better.
- Oh ... err ... I had not noticed.
- Je ... - I laughed nervously, not knowing what to say or do now. Keeping my eyes fixed on her, waiting for something. Whatever. He diverted his eyes from mine.
- And ...?
'So? "I could not say how I felt to hear her say that. I never thought I would receive indifference on your part. Expected anything but a 'So? "
- ... I wanted you to know. - Murmur, even in the trance in which his "So?" I had left. Disappointed, maybe. I do not know, I felt nothing clearly. No processing. No thought. I could not. Never wait for a 'So? "
- Ahh ... I see ... Well ... Thanks. - I said, moving away from me.
"'Thank you'?
Look at the floor.
A 'What?' And 'Thank you'.
Indifference. Would have preferred a stronger rejection of indifference. I felt empty. He did not care.
not care. We returned
with Kyle.
I open my eyes.
- Hector! - After I ran for Literature went to the patio and went to the branch to wait for Joel's favorite. I overslept, apparently.
- Hector!
Devils. That voice. I close my eyes. I began to ache suddenly.
- HEY!
Yes, no mistake.
- What? - What are you doing there?I open my eyes again and look. This dressed for sports. His eyes fixed on me honey. - I ran classes, Lottchen. - I reply. She yelled and began to let go a sermon about how they could give me just starting school this semester. It has no moral authority to say that. Then I thought it would be impossible to reason, so I shut up and listen.
Lottchen could say is my second favorite cousin. The first is Lonekke. She is the daughter of Uncle Matthew, has a sister, Giselle, but I sympathize so much. Lotte has always approached me to talk, annoy or tease a bit.
second thing more than anything. For this time I feel close me is a horrible headache.
I stressed. But I sympathize. Although almost always walk screaming. She is very temperamental. Two years younger than me. Five Kyle.
Kyle and she always argue and fight. More than with the rest of his brothers. Giselle has a peaceful character and Sean, the youngest, is autistic, so it is a quiet boy and tender. Instead Lottchen and Kyle are impulsive, proud and temperamental.
Lottchen is the person who insists that he should forget Lonekke. I think you're right, but I can not.
Once
just his speech.
- And you? - Ask.
- What about me?
- Why you're not in class?
- Ah ... I ran.
Vent
a laugh to hear the answer. I was not wrong in thinking that has no moral authority to say something.
Stop laughing. A rock just hit the area on my left. Touching me. I see Lotte. It's annoying. Lunatic.
-- ¡Fue culpa de Owen!
-- Sí, claro – le digo irónicamente. Ella infla un poco sus mejillas, indignada. -- ¿Y le rompiste la nariz?
-- ¡Sí!
Volvió mi risa. Clásico.
-- ¡¡No te rías!! Me estaba molestando.
-- No llevamos ni un día y ya le rompiste la nariz de nuevo, Lottchen.
-- Fue su culpa.
-- Como digas. Under jumping tree and fall to his side. Miro
time.
- I go to the cafeteria.
- I'll walk - Lotte said taking my arm and dragging me over there.
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